Why it’s okay to be an Absentee mum – despite the guilt 

As the Daughter of a working Mother I learnt a lot of stuff in my growing years. I learnt to be responsible for myself and my younger Brother, in fact our home soon turned into a make shift day care for all our friends as well (who happened to have mums at home!).

There was a good reason for that. We used every corner of the House to play and play freely for hours. I believe I ended up enabling distraction-free afternoon naps for many a mums in my Neighbourhood.

We always had a helper so the responsibility didn’t translate into any major chores. But I was in charge of general security and well being of myself and others.

I took my role very seriously but I also learnt to enjoy my space and my own company when alone. I learnt to host others, resolve conflicts, take decisions, share with others and draw boundaries.

I also learnt to value the time my Mother was at home in the evenings and on weekends. Every evening, we put the house back in order and waited excitedly for mum to come home and see what delightful children we were!

Did I wish she was there to spoil me or pamper me or give me hugs when I came home? Honestly, no. Maybe a few times in my entire life I felt any downsides to my Mother being absent for some parts of the day.

So now as a Mother whenever I feel guilt pangs crawling up, I remind myself of the reasonably happy person I turned out to be. And the things she enabled for me by working hard and balancing her roles.

A lot more women in my generation work outside their homes and wear multiple hats. It’s okay to be absent sometimes because it’s really the quality of time spent together that means anything at all!

My one motto is to Ensure there is a daily connection. Even if that means running late for work because we took longer to cuddle and I wanted to make a fancy hairdo for her on a Wednesday!

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One thought on “Why it’s okay to be an Absentee mum – despite the guilt 

  1. This is so true! Any working mother or parent, would be able to relate. Especially if anyone has the guilt pangs, this piece is surely a “must read”. Thanks for a wonderful perspective, and for so succinctly hitting the nail on the head 😊

    Liked by 1 person

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