I had been feeling a bit under the weather lately and I realized that I’d been hit by the “I’m a bad mother” virus. I let my daughter stay up too late last few nights, I am not strict enough and she’s almost five etc. etc… you know the drill.
That got me thinking about what other “bad mothers” do out there. Honestly, what are your terrible parenting crimes or oversights?
I did what anyone with half a brain and a device would do – I googled it!
(search phrase: What’s a bad mother?).
Spoiler Alert – your mommy-self-esteem problems are about to go away:
- Top 10: Signs She’ll Be A Bad Mother – Let’s start with what NOT to read!
http://www.askmen.com/top_10/dating/top-10-signs-shell-be-a-bad-mother_10.html So these guys think that a woman who eats too much, wears designer clothes, likes to party, and doesn’t spoil her man like she was his nanny would be a bad mother to her children.
Hmm… I need to pause here before I throw up.
Has no one considered that a woman who doesn’t yet have children, doesn’t actually need to tie herself up with chains of parental responsibility? Why would a young independent woman not want to splurge on herself or have a good time? Given the teeny tiny window of opportunity, the few years of freedom she has before the biological alarm clock goes off, right? right?
I guess this article was written by a man, for a bunch of men and I have no business reading it – but honestly, it does establish that men have no idea what women are about. They did get one thing right. A violent woman is a no-go.
So honestly, don’t beat yourself up or label yourself a “bad mother” unless you’re violent and have raging issues that need medical help!
- Typology of a Bad Mother
http://www.phdinparenting.com/blog/2009/6/6/typology-of-the-bad-mother.html Now this has a collection of “bad mother” definitions!
I hope you will agree with me that “Neglectful and Abusive and Don’t Know Better” would sum it up accurately.
You can read more at the link. I am not really endorsing the myriad definitions submitted there, mostly because there isn’t sufficient context. But whatever you were feeling guilty about is probably too mild to make the cut.
- Signs of Bad Parenting
https://kindredbond.com/parenting/Signs-of-Bad-Parenting-effects-good-parent Some really good points in this blog and again the most significant one is Neglect & Abuse. Some other thought provoking ones about encouragement of bad behavior, partiality, too much pampering etc. and how those add up to bad parenting.
Of course the point of all this was to confirm that I wasn’t actually doing anything “bad”, just having a less than perfect week!
#badmothers #nosuchthing #motherhood #guilt #parenting